The Art of Saying No: Setting Financial Boundaries
Let me start by saying that setting boundaries isn’t easy. If you’re like me, the word “no” probably feels like it comes with guilt. But here’s the thing: every time we say “yes” to something we haven’t fully prepared for or considered if we can truly commit to, we’re unintentionally saying 'no' to the boundaries we’ve set for ourselves, which can hinder our growth. So, this is your reminder: saying no isn’t about being stingy or boring. It’s about protecting your goals and prioritizing the life you’re trying to build.
So let's get into it.
What Are Financial Boundaries?
Think of financial boundaries as personal rules that guide how you manage your money. They help you:
Say no to expenses that don’t align with your goals.
Communicate your financial limits to others.
Hold yourself accountable when faced with temptation.
Financial boundaries aren’t about being rigid or selfish, they're about ensuring your money is working for you
Let's give a real life examples:
So say you’ve been invited on a weekend trip with your friends. Sounds amazing, right? But here’s the catch: the flight alone is $500. This month, you’ve committed to paying down your credit card debt, and part of your plan involves making a $500 payment toward it.
Now, without financial boundaries, you might think: “I’ll just put the flight on my credit card, and I’ll figure it out later.” It’s tempting, especially when you don’t want to feel left out.
But with financial boundaries in place, you pause and ask yourself:
Does this expense align with my goals?
Will saying yes put me further behind on the debt I’m trying to eliminate?
Can I enjoy time with my friends in a way that doesn’t derail my financial plan?
In this case, your boundary might be:
“I’ve already committed this $500 to my debt payment, so I can’t go on the trip this time.”
It’s not easy, and you might feel FOMO (fear of missing out) at the moment, but sticking to your boundaries helps you stay focused on the bigger picture. Plus, the sense of accomplishment you’ll feel when you see your debt shrinking will outweigh the temporary high of the trip.
Now, that was a cute scenario, but let me let y’all into my business for a second.
At the end of December, I decided to cut down on eating out. First, I was doing way too much, and second, my body was literally telling me to stop. Honestly, for me, eating out and buying groceries cost about the same, but I wanted to get a better grip on eating out because doing it every other day was just too much.
I managed to go about a week and three days without eating out, and BOY, was it hard! Every day, the temptation to stop for something convenient was so real. When I go into the office, I usually get Chick-fil-A, so passing it on the way was heartbreaking. But I packed my breakfast, left the office early one day, and drove all the way home for lunch. Over those few days, I built so much discipline in myself, and I’m so proud because now it’s getting a bit easier.
I did eat out yesterday, and honestly, I felt really disappointed in myself. But my circle held me accountable, and I want this to be a lifestyle choice for me, not just a 'season' or 'phase.' There’s nothing wrong with eating out, but I had to set boundaries to help me both financially and physically. So, I’ve decided I’ll only eat out on weekends, maybe not every Saturday, but only when I really feel like it.
Now that I’ve gone against my own boundary, I honestly don’t want to eat out like that anymore. It doesn’t feel right to go against my word, and it’s just not the kind of discipline I want for myself and it's just not ladylike.
Boundaries Start with You
You can expect others to respect you if you don't even respect yourself. Setting boundaries is not about anyone else but you. It's about understanding your own needs, values, and limits, and making decisions that protect your well-being. Boundaries are a form of self-respect; they're not about shutting people out, but about honoring your own space and your financial health. When you learn to prioritize yourself, you create the foundation for healthier relationships and a more balanced life.
Holding yourself accountable can be even more challenging than setting limits with others. It’s easy to say no to a dinner invite, but what happens when you’re trying to convince yourself that you deserve to buy yourself something nice because 'life’s been hard lately'?
I used to be so quick to say yes to others and myself before truly evaluating my finances. I’d agree to plans, purchases, and commitments without considering the impact on my budget or long-term goals. It was almost like I was operating on autopilot, saying yes out of habit or obligation, without pausing to reflect on whether it was the right decision for me. This pattern not only strained my finances but also left me feeling overwhelmed and out of control. Learning to pause, assess, and set boundaries has been a game changer for both my financial well-being and my peace of mind.
What do boundaries with yourself look like? It looks like you are sticking to your plan, even when no one’s watching. It’s about resisting the urge to make impulsive purchases because it feels good in the moment, even when no one will know but you. It’s saying no to that last-minute vacation or pricey dinner out because you’ve already committed to your financial goals. It’s holding yourself accountable for the choices you make, even when no one is around to remind you. Setting financial boundaries with yourself means choosing discipline over short-term gratification, and creating a future where your financial freedom is the ultimate reward.
For me, this looked like deleting Klarna, Afterpay, and any other apps that were contributing to building more debt than I already have. (my student loans alone are killing me)
Now, I know those apps can be helpful for some who can manage them properly, but I was doing way too much! I found myself buying things on impulse, thinking I could just pay later, and before I knew it, I was drowning in small payments that added up quickly. No more Target runs for fun. I had to be real with myself and recognize that my habits weren’t supporting my financial goals. So, I made the decision to cut out the temptation. I started focusing on budgeting and only buying what I truly needed. Setting these boundaries has not only improved my finances, but it’s also helped me grow as a person. I’ve become more intentional with how I spend my time and money, and it’s reminded me that patience is key to building long-term wealth.
I’ve set goals for myself, and no one else is responsible for achieving them but me. When I started respecting my own boundaries, I noticed others began to do the same. But honestly? It’s not about them—it’s about me. I began using all 24 hours of my day (minus 7–8 hours of sleep) more intentionally, and let me tell you, it feels amazing! No drastic changes, just small adjustments and building better habits. I feel unstoppable.
Not everyone will understand your financial boundaries at first, and that’s perfectly fine. You’re not here to make others comfortable or please them you’re here to thrive for yourself. And that journey starts by respecting your own boundaries first.
While it will be challenging, the actions you take today will have a lasting impact. Here are a few actionable steps you can start implementing to set those boundaries with yourself and take control of what’s yours:
Action Steps: Setting Boundaries with Yourself
Get Clear on Your Financial Goals
Before you can set boundaries, you need to know what you’re working toward. Whether it’s saving for a house, paying off debt, or building an emergency fund, your goals will guide your boundaries and make them easier to stick to.
Identify Your Financial Triggers
Be honest with yourself about what tempts you to overspend. Is it online shopping? Dining out? Impulse buys? Recognizing your weak spots will help you create rules to avoid them.
Set Rules for Yourself
Think of these as your personal guidelines to stay on track. For example:
“I’ll only eat out twice a week.”
“I’ll save 20% of my paycheck before spending on anything else.”
“I’ll give myself 24 hours to think before making any purchase over $100.”
Hold Yourself Accountable
This is often the hardest part. It’s easy to justify breaking your own rules, especially when no one’s watching. But staying committed to your plan, even when it’s inconvenient, will help you stay focused on your bigger picture.
Pause Before Saying Yes
Before you say yes to anything—whether it’s a dinner invite or a group trip—pause and evaluate:
Does this align with my financial goals?
Will this leave me feeling stressed about money later?
If the answer is no, give yourself permission to say no.
Practice Saying “No” Without Over Explaining
No doesn’t mean never. This doesn’t mean you’ll never treat yourself or enjoy life. It just means you’re being intentional. Here’s a piece of advice( and I'm talking to myself): let’s ditch overthinking in 2025. You don’t owe anyone an essay on why you can’t and not doing something. A simple “I can’t commit to that right now,” “That’s not in my budget right now,” or “I’m saving for something important” is enough.
The first time I said “no” to someone, I felt like I’d just delivered a major monologue. It felt uncomfortable, like I was letting people down, but in reality, respecting my boundaries has only strengthened my sense of self. The more I said no to what didn’t serve me, the clearer my priorities became, and the more aligned I felt with my own goals. guess what? Nobody cared as much as I thought they would.
Know Your Limits
Understanding your limits is the foundation of setting healthy boundaries, especially when it comes to your finances. Being able to recognize when you're stretching yourself too thin whether it’s with spending, time, or emotional energy. Knowing your limits means acknowledging when something no longer aligns with your goals or values, and having the confidence to say no. Give yourself permission to prioritize your well-being and your relationship with your money. By respecting and owning your own limits, you create space for growth, balance, and peace of mind, allowing you to make intentional decisions that move you closer to your goals without burning out.
Action Step: Create a “Pause” Rule
I’ve started giving myself a 24-hour window to make financial decisions, especially for things outside my budget. It’s crazy how often I realize I didn’t actually want the thing once I gave it some thought. This can apply to anything: impulse shopping, spontaneous plans, or even loaning money to others.
Take a moment to check your finances and feelings before committing. When you start saying no to the unnecessary stuff, you create space to say yes to the things that genuinely make you happy and align with your goals.
The Real Payoff
The real payoff is you building the habits and truly becoming the person you want to be. It’s bigger than just improving your relationship with money; there are so many more moving parts in this journey than we realize. It all starts with you, so start showing up for yourself everyday.
The part nobody tells you: boundaries aren’t restrictive, they’re freeing. When you stop spending on autopilot, you gain control. You’re no longer stressed about making it to payday or scrambling to cover an unexpected expense. Saying no doesn’t make you mean; it makes you mindful. Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re bridges that help you build healthier relationships with yourself and others.I say no to things that interrupt my schedule. If it’s not on my calendar or won’t help me complete something on my to-do list and don't let me be out of my budget because it’s a hard no. I love a good, “No, I’m sorry, I’m going to have to take a rain check.
I didn’t even think for a second that setting this small boundary for myself of not eating out would lead to so much more. It’s 6:36 pm on a Sunday, and I’m at a coffee shop, getting things done! If you would’ve asked me a month ago what I would be doing at this time, I’d probably be at home scrolling on TikTok. I used to think weekends were "off days," lol silly me.
With all that being said, I challenge you this week to say no to one thing that doesn’t align with your boundaries.
As you continue working on your financial goals, remember that it’s all about staying intentional and setting boundaries that truly serve you. I’d love for you to join me for my first-ever Q1 financial read! I’ll be reading The Mindful Millionaire by Leisa Peterson. It’s a fantastic resource for overcoming scarcity and aligning your mindset with your financial goals. I grabbed mine from Barnes & Noble, but you can also find it on Amazon.
If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to comment or reach out. I'm here for it! And be sure to follow us on Instagram @flofblog and @financethebrand for more updates and tips on how you can rewrite the rules of your money. Wishing you a prosperous week ahead and I’ll see yall next time!
Taylor
